Wow life is so bloody busy! Every minute and hour of every day seems to be full and I can’t seem to find a moment to just stop, breath and appreciate the life I have! From the moment I awake, it’s go, go, go till the moment my head hits the pillow. When did life get so busy, so hectic, so bananas?! Did I create the chaos, have I made my life this way because I can’t be still because stillness means to be with myself in the moment, to be inside my head and maybe that’s what I’m running from!
In our society it seems the norm for us all to be so busy that we never have time to stop and enjoy the lives we have created, the loved ones we surround ourselves with or the beauty that exists everywhere, we are programmed from a very young age to be in a rush! To hurry up! To live in fear. To get things done and to go there and get here and achieve this and want that!! More more more! We’re often so busy that we don’t have time to find our bliss. To do what really truly fills our Hearts and souls. But filling our lives up to the brim, every waking moment of every waking hour, is this good for us? Or do we need peace to find our own inner peace?
So did I choose hairdressing as my profession because of it’s endless chaos! One client is done and then I move onto the next and then back to the previous one to finish their cut and blow dry so they can leave looking fabulous and then oh my next one has arrived! Meanwhile I haven’t peed in hours or drunk a drop of water since yesterday! And I’m so starving I could eat the whole Uber Eats menu!
Yes hairdressing is a whirlwind of doing hair, turning the drab to fab as fast as you can so your client doesn’t get impatient, uncomfortable or bored! You are a counsellor and a friend listening to life stories, celebrations, struggles and dramas! Your client telling you their darkest secrets in the first 10 minutes of meeting you… How they slept with their neighbours best friend who used to go to high school with their uncle and is the coach at their kids soccer club or something slightly less dramatic perhaps but you get the idea! Oh the things people blurt out to their hairdressers is so intriguing! But we all secretly love it, lol!
So after a 10-12 hour day of doing endless laps of the salon, maddening chaos and speed, fabulous hair, lots of laughs, a touch of drama and a sad or naughty story or two I walk back through the door of my home, my sanctuary to my beautiful and bananas familia who as it turns out have missed me and cling to me like glad wrap and talk AT ME about their day and want my full attention and for me to listen and LOOK 110% which I love but struggle with as I’m often sucked dry after a day of hairdressing. Or sometimes it’s a very very long day and it’s 11pm and I creep through the front door quietly and peek in on our beautiful wee son soundly sleeping, then sneak back to the lounge to pop on the telly to watch some brain junk food and unwind, omg it’s midnight me time!! Some time to stop and breath and be grateful and put my feet up or maybe it’s just time to stuff my face! Sometimes I’m so starving I eat enough dinner to feed a horse and then I feel like a bloated whale! I usually go to bed too late and boom it’s morning again and it’s back to the chaos! But at least in the morning, I have time to poop!
Life is a revolving door of endless thinking, doing and things to do! Then suddenly you look in the mirror and realise you’re getting old and life is speeding by faster and faster! The realisation that those moments with the ones you love are so fleeting, that we spendmore of our lives doing what we don’t really love, what annoys us, what we complain about, so we can have what we think we need.
Even those holidays to the hot warm place we’ve dreamed of and saved our pennies for come and go so quickly that it all seems like a blurred dream and it’s back to the grind for another year!
I’ve hated and enjoyed my first 39 years of being alive! Recently I’ve started to think about the way I’ve lived them as I near my 40th anniversary of being me. I’ve observed that I’ve often lived them in constant busy chaos, whether that be the constant inner chaotic chatter of my often melancholy mind, or the to-dos or the demands of others! I’ve noticed lately that there is most definitely an avoidance of just being still, being here in this moment, because that’s actually all I have, this moment, not the past nor the present because one is gone and can’t be changed and one isn’t even here yet, but this moment is. I find it hard to find peace, quiet and stillness in this world and this life of chaos, but when I do it’s magic and I feel wonderful! Those quiet moments lying in bed playing footsies with my partner, kissing our beautiful mini person good night while he whispers I love you, taking a walk on the beach and listening to the rolling waves, enjoying a good gin n tonic, going to a hot yoga class, meditating, traveling somewhere relaxing or just smiling and laughing with family and friends over a good meal, those are the special moments that I enjoy more than work or success, more than endless stuff! Those are the moments that I want more of! I want to spend more time finding those moments, finding my bliss in the next days, weeks, months or years of my life. Because who knows when death will come knocking in this crazy chaotic world and all we truly have is this moment.